Complacency

I find myself wallowing in contentment these days; consciously maintaining a positive outlook, simply putting the negatives out of my mind.

Breathe deeply:  inhale, exhale.

Avoiding confrontation means avoiding interaction to a large extent; companionship is reserved for one or two close friends.  I follow the news but refuse to dwell on tragedy.  Like Emil Cioran says: better not to act; action can only lead to regrets.

So, I stand here, day after day, feeling the soft summer breezes, inhaling the sweet scents of garden flowers, listening to the optimistic bird song.  What could be better?

I refuse to allow myself to be upset.  Why can’t little Annie sing on key?  What is LeonardD doing with that power saw?  What if those neighbor children want to play with me?  They’re so rough.

Never mind.

I’m afraid I’m becoming complacent.  Nothing excites me.  I think maybe there’s a difference between the calm of a centered discipline and my near lethargy.  Perhaps it would be good to step into an uncomfortable situation; force myself to face phenomena that will upset me; get my blood (such as it is) boiling.  Maybe Nietzsche’s right: ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’

Well, I’ll think about it.  I’m a bit drowsy; the gentle patter of the water fountain is very relaxing.  I’m not sure that I really need a challenge anyway.

zarathustra 3

A Life of Contemplation

Lately, I’ve been thinking what it’d be like to go off someplace where I could live more simply; someplace away from the distractions of the ever-depressing news of the day and the energy sapping ego conflicts of the workplace.

I could spend my days contemplating the inherent nature of existence; I could immerse myself in the eternal flow of life.  I would find my center and be at one with all things.  You know, like St. Anthony (the ascetic) did.

For nearly forty years Anthony lived a hermetic existence in the desert existing on the rare crust of bread offered him by passing pilgrims.  He rid himself of all desires of the flesh in the belief that through asceticism ultimate truth would be revealed to him.

There was one night, though, when hedonistic desires descended upon him like a torrential downpour.  He wanted, wanted, wanted: good food, good drink and women of any sort.  All night he suffered.  He fought back with every ounce of his energy.  When morning finally came Anthony was spent from the night’s exertions but was also strengthened in the knowledge he could overcome temptation.  His resignation was renewed, but with it, the fear of even greater tests to come.

I’m really not too worried about this happening to me.  Food and drink aren’t important to a doll and I’m really not that into primal urges.The Temptation of St. Anthony 3

Illusions of Well-being

According to the Romanian philosopher Emil Cioran a person would be better off not to have been born.  He determined suffering is the rule in life and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it.  All actions, he says, are or will be cause for regret.

The notion of well-being for Emil is an illusion that many people will harbor off and on during their lives but will in the end be unable to sustain.  Apparently Emil thinks it would be better to be, now, where he was before he was born-which is where he must be since he died some years ago.

Not having been born myself, rather, molded in plastic, I’m not sure how to think about Emil’s assertion.  I suppose he does have a point.  As far as I’m concerned my sense of well-being is dependent on the consideration of others, you know, to not step on me, keep me away from aggressive dogs (the ones that like to chew things up), and such.  And, how reliable can I expect that consideration to be; I guess there’s a faith aspect to any sense of well-being I might have.

As far as being better off being where I was before I was molded-in that vat of molten plastic-I suppose there is a sense of Oneness in that.

ouro boros3

Life imitates art?

A friend and I were discussing the relationship between art and life the other day.  He told me he thought much of life can be described in terms of the movie, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  He explained the movie addresses how we create our own truths and manipulate events to suit our needs; how we harbor an inherent dislike of the other and make outrageous meaningless demands in order to demonstrate power over others, and how all this is part of our misplaced desire to achieve a heroic legacy.

Then he described some of the scenes that he thought supported his idea.  I liked the one when the knights are taunted by the French who catapult farm animals at them.  I found the scene where Arthur and his men are stopped by these strange knights who won’t let them pass through their lands until Arthur brings them a shrubbery pretty funny too.

I guess it all kind of made sense the way my friend told it and probably there’s some truth in his analogy, but after seeing the movie I think a better observation is that although we may do silly things sometimes and take ourselves too seriously once in a while there’s nothing more important in this world than a playful creative imagination.

catapultedanimals3

Meaning of Life

Sometimes I wonder about the meaning of life; is there purpose in my existence.  Buddha says life is suffering; relinquish your desires to find the way to enlightenment.  The Dao says be frugal in thought and action and you will come early to the way which will allow you to immerse yourself in the flow and stay centered.

Maybe purpose has nothing to do with it.  Maybe I just need to live my life moment by moment, in the flow, on the path to enlightenment.  You know, wake up, smell the coffee.

I think there may be some self-discipline involved here.

Achieving Enlightenment 3

Playing the Game

Imac girl was visiting the other day.  She’s quite attractive; you’d never know she was a computer if it wasn’t for the USB port below her left ear.  We were having a game of Chess; when she plugs in a flash drive she is a very good player.  I guess what makes her so good is her ability to consider all possible moves.  I still don’t understand how she can know which move is best but it must have to do with strategic positioning; she’ll always move in a way to maximize the preferred end result, which is capturing the King.

It’s sort of like the way determinists think about human actions: everyone is conditioned to act in such a way as to maximize survival in the world.

But, what if the ultimate goal was different? In fact, what if there was no ultimate goal?  What if, instead of survival instinct or desire to capture the King, the focus was on the process: of performing aesthetically; of achieving an ongoing beauty in action.  That would mean imac girl and I would have free will to act in ways we would consider of greatest worth in our relation to each other and our worlds.

Boy, that would really change the game.

chicken gambit 3

The Big Picture

I’ve been thinking lately about the big questions: you know: why am I here, is there a purpose to life, does the fact my plastic body will never deteriorate mean that in some sense I’m immortal?

I know the ancients found answers in the stars and planets.  They used their relative positions in the heavens to predict what would be as well as what to do and when.  I guess they needed some assurance the universe wasn’t completely random; that there was a cosmic plan they could base their lives on that would ensure some stability and be some sort of guarantee that existence would be meaningful.

Later mystics organized the heavens into levels one could travel between by gaining secret knowledge rising higher and higher until one entered the throne room of God, where I suppose one could expect to gain a sense of the big picture, especially if God showed up.

I think if the heavens hold the answers, maybe we just haven’t arrived at the right place yet.  Maybe in some future rotation of the earth through the universe we’ll enter a rarefied atmosphere where everything will become clear; where we’ll know for certain whether God or chaos rules.

Well, I’m not waiting around.  I’ll center my mind, go with the flow, live my dreams and hope the ride isn’t too bumpy.

ecstatic vision 3

Dreams of Nakedness

Have you ever had one of those dreams, as I did the other night, where you’re out in public going about your business and you’re naked or dressed only in your underwear?  Nobody pays any attention to you but you are very aware and uncomfortable with the situation.

The common psychological explanations for such a dream range from feelings of shamefulness or vulnerability to fear of being noticed.  Freud thought it was an indication of a desire to return to the paradise of childhood.

In my dream I was playing  volleyball with a bunch of naked Barbies; I remember feeling dismayed seeing their emaciated bodies; it made me feel pretty good about myself………….it was uplifting really.dreamsofnakedness3

Return of the Goddess

While at the library the other day I happened on a book about the origins of religion. In it I read that many early gods were not gods at all but rather goddesses.  There were pictures of numerous pre-historic goddess figures, an image of the Egyptian cow goddess Hathor and many more from various cultures around the world.

The text went on to say that these early nature oriented peoples recognized the relationship between a woman’s reproductive cycle and the phases of the moon upon which they determined their agricultural activities: planting, harvesting and such and from this associated a certain super-natural aspect with womankind.

I guess overtime woman has lost some of her magical association.  But, when I think about it there are still women out there who continue to radiate goddess-like qualities.  Lady Gaga, Madonna and Sinead  O’Connor all seem to think quite a lot about religion.

seeking the sacred feminine 3

Belief is truth to the Believer

Boy, it’s really hard to know what to believe these days.  I read in a news magazine my hero, Mr. Rogers, was a former Navy Seal with twenty five confirmed sniper kills during the war in Viet Nam; truly mind-boggling.  But, then I went on line looking for details and found out that the story wasn’t true, that it was just an urban legend.

I got to thinking that the safest thing to do is doubt everything, but my friend told me that it’s impossible: to be skeptical of everything is to be skeptical of being skeptical which is a logical contradiction. (I guess he didn’t know about Godel’s Incompleteness Theorem).

My friend said I should have faith that some things are true, that belief is truth to the believer. I guess people with a strong religious faith believe God is truth and that when they’re in doubt they can ask God to direct them, which means they have a way of communicating with a supernatural entity.  I don’t doubt their sincerity but judging from the variety of interpretations different people have for the Biblical texts I wonder if they’re all talking to the same Being.

Well, maybe it’s just that wires get crossed sometimes.

absolute truth 3