Tag Archives: philosophy

Playing the Game

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Imac girl was visiting the other day.  She’s quite attractive; you’d never know she was a computer if it wasn’t for the USB port below her left ear.  We were having a game of Chess; when she plugs in a flash drive she is a very good player.  I guess what makes her so good is her ability to consider all possible moves.  I still don’t understand how she can know which move is best but it must have to do with strategic positioning; she’ll always move in a way to maximize the preferred end result, which is capturing the King.

It’s sort of like the way determinists think about human actions: everyone is conditioned to act in such a way as to maximize survival in the world.

But, what if the ultimate goal was different? In fact, what if there was no ultimate goal?  What if, instead of survival instinct or desire to capture the King, the focus was on the process: of performing aesthetically; of achieving an ongoing beauty in action.  That would mean imac girl and I would have free will to act in ways we would consider of greatest worth in our relation to each other and our worlds.

Boy, that would really change the game.

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The Big Picture

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I’ve been thinking lately about the big questions: you know: why am I here, is there a purpose to life, does the fact my plastic body will never deteriorate mean that in some sense I’m immortal?

I know the ancients found answers in the stars and planets.  They used their relative positions in the heavens to predict what would be as well as what to do and when.  I guess they needed some assurance the universe wasn’t completely random; that there was a cosmic plan they could base their lives on that would ensure some stability and be some sort of guarantee that existence would be meaningful.

Later mystics organized the heavens into levels one could travel between by gaining secret knowledge rising higher and higher until one entered the throne room of God, where I suppose one could expect to gain a sense of the big picture, especially if God showed up.

I think if the heavens hold the answers, maybe we just haven’t arrived at the right place yet.  Maybe in some future rotation of the earth through the universe we’ll enter a rarefied atmosphere where everything will become clear; where we’ll know for certain whether God or chaos rules.

Well, I’m not waiting around.  I’ll center my mind, go with the flow, live my dreams and hope the ride isn’t too bumpy.

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walking on water

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While checking out at the super market the other day I happened to glance over at the tabloids. On one, the cover story was, ‘Jesus doll walks on water.’  Usually I don’t pay much attention to these journals, the sensationalistic stories usually being so incredibly ridiculous, but this one caught my attention being about a doll and all.  So, I bought a copy and later when I had time, read that a young boy in Florida was playing with his Jesus doll beside a pond one day when the doll suddenly proceeded on its own impetus across the pond toward an old lady on the other side.  The doll, so the story related, moved up to and touched the old woman who was immediately relieved of the arthritic pain she had been suffering.  The doll then turned around and moved back across the pond to the little boy.

Wow!  There were pictures and everything.

As much as I enjoy a doll getting positive attention my skeptical nature questioned the accuracy of the account.  While dolls may certainly have independent natures, performing miracles, even for a Jesus doll, seems pretty incredible.  But, maybe where there’s a will there’s a way.

I think I’ll take a bath.

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Living Life to the fullest

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Seventh sphere 3It’s time to challenge myself…………..It’s not like I’m bored; I’ve plenty to keep me busy and interested…..I just feel like I need stimulation; something to force myself out of my comfort zone, expand my experiences and live larger.

I’ve been contemplating my options: sky diving, bungee jumping and rock climbing all have appeal but I’m deathly afraid of heights.  I could go the social route and volunteer in the schools or nursing home but with all those rammy kids or blind old people I could easily get stepped on.

I think I’ll offer myself for adoption at the Salvation Army.  I know it’s a serious risk: who knows what kind of situation I could get in to, but I could make some little girl happy and in addition meet some new dolls and people.  If worse comes to worse and I end up in a dysfunctional family I’ll just remember what Nietzsche said: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Playing the Game

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I feel myself falling into a rut lately.  The routine has become insufferable.  The days are passing painfully predictably: out of the box at 10, stand by the window, pose for a while, get leered at by that awful monkey and the other boring inanimates I am loathe to inhabit the studio with and, then, back in the box until morning when it starts all over again.  I won’t even go into the days I don’t get taken out of the box at all.  I’m feeling my life isn’t my own, that I’m simply a small cog in a big impersonal mechanism.

I guess Woody Allen’s right: all you need to do to succeed in life is show up….and play the game.  If only the bills needn’t be paid I would fly (figuratively speaking that is).

But certainly there’s relief to be had.  The Stoics recommend, when meaning in life is elusive, contemplating what it would be like if one lost what one had.  How much worse would it be without those small things we take for granted, like a nice cozy box……………..well, a cozy box is better than nothing.  I will try to be happy with what I have, the way things are…………….and I’ll sign up for flying lessons. discovering the mysteries 3

Thoughts of Death

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Sometimes, in the cold darkness of winter particularly, I can’t help but think about how it’s all going to end.  It’s incredibly depressing to contemplate one’s own mortality; Even plastic breaks down over time.  I guess the fear of irrefutable extinction is what drives people to religion.  The hope for a beautiful afterlife must be a wonderful pacifier.  But what if the after-life isn’t so beautiful, what if it’s terrible, tortuous.  If I were to accept the premise that there truly is an afterlife how could I be certain I was headed in the preferred direction?  When I think about it, throughout history there are more depictions of Hell than of Paradise.

I read somewhere that one is born of nature and to nature one returns after death; seems sufficient to me. gatesofdis3

some people even think I lack personality……….

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I know I’m plain.  I’m very aware I have no outstanding visual attributes. I stand out only in my ordinariness.  Sometimes even my friends will pass me without noticing me.  I suppose I could try harder to enhance my appearance; maybe a little eye shadow, although it doesn’t seem to adhere well to plastic.

I just don’t think it’s honest to pretend to be something I’m not.  Still, we are social animals.  Everyone needs friends.  Maybe if I worked out people would like me more.  A svelte body is everyone’s dream.  Beauty is symmetry, slimness, fitness, healthy skin, good muscle tone.  But, is this really me.  Better to just try and fit in as who I am.  I will seek out friends who feel good about themselves; who aren’t afraid of being who they are.

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