An Uneasy Exchange

I visited with a childhood friend recently. We have known each other since elementary school and over the years have shared numerous interests, developed common sensibilities. Things change with time and experience, of course, and my friend and I have found ourselves philosophically polarized.

He has been, for quite some time now, a committed Evangelical harboring the benevolent belief Christian faith will bring serenity and peace not to mention a heavenly afterlife. I on the other hand, remain philosophically open-ended believing a pluralistic world view will produce the greatest likelihood mankind will be able to come together, to unite in a common empathy, reduce sectarian conflicts and direct us toward a peaceful future existence.

I though, unlike my friend, harbor the anxieties of real time, am unable to adapt to the closed system of religious faith, even though the vision of a sunny after-life is pretty attractive.

Brain Fog

I’ve been reading, lately, that an increasing number of people are having a serious problem thinking. The complaint, made primarily by young adults, is of an inability to mentally focus and make decisions. In explanation, researchers point to the prevalence of ‘long covid’ as being a primary culprit causing what suffers refer to as ‘brain fog’: a condition affecting their ability to function at work.

I find myself wondering as I observe these Gen-Zers and Millennials, ubiquitous smart phones in hand while in airpod oblivion, what the true cause of their ‘brain fog’ might be.

Christian Apologetics

I’ve been reading, lately, Penzees, written by the 17th century philosopher Blaise Pascal. The work goes into great detail defending and advocating belief in Christianity. Rationale for such belief centers on the idea man is morally flawed and sinful making existence psychologically painful. Why else, the apologist argues, do we avoid the reality of the here and now through pre-occupation with the past or anticipation of the future, or by other constant diversions that keep us from facing the inevitable: the realization of a finite existence that will end in extinction.

The solution to this dilemma, we are directed, is in admitting our shortcomings, relinquishing our pride and our fear of the enormity of existence. If we do this, we can create a space, a place for God.

The philosopher offers strong argument. We all, if we think about it, live with our uncertainties and fears. Belief in a benevolent God will surely bring peace of mind to those able to embrace it. There are caveats, I suppose. One may find, upon commitment that remaining in ‘good faith’ may be somewhat more involved than a simple declaration of belief.

Premonitions of Doom

I’ve been lately experiencing premonitions of doom. I reason it’s the time of year: an extended run of cold gray days, nature receding into dormancy. But maybe not. Maybe negative life-changing events, beyond my control, are on the horizon. I can imagine all sorts of horrible scenarios involving violence or accident. Pure evil may even enter in.

My life has been reasonably free of negative occurrences; I can’t remember experiencing serious personal disaster. Family passings have been expected, serious health issues haven’t materialized. Maybe I’m due.

I guess such feelings are why some people embrace religion.

Confrontation

A recent heated confrontation has me thinking about my history of passionate exchanges. As I remember my teen years, confrontation was youthful exuberance fed by a black/white world view, nuances not yet present in my developing brain. Hot-blooded exchanges, aggressive verbal attacks were fed by moral outrage at perceived social injustices. To be honest such passions manifested in private, usually from the safety of my bedroom.

These days I try to avoid confrontation, am better able (thanks to blood-pressure meds) to temper animosities, remaining silent and suppressing my inclination to speak out in the heat of the moment. Even so, I am surprised sometimes when my temper flairs and I’m unable to withhold strong response. I guess certain behaviors are simply in one’s nature.

Delayed Gratification

I’ve been thinking lately about how satisfying one’s desires ought to be thought about as one ages. The delayed gratification test given to young children involving one marshmallow now or two awhile later is meant, I guess, to determine a child’s sense of discipline, discernment and desires.

The idea of having it now or saving for later should, I think, be nuanced later in life as we age and our tastes and health are factored into what waiting means. At some point, when all possibilities are considered, it seems reasonable to consume and enjoy immediately.

First Nature

I’ve been thinking lately about the idea of one’s ‘first nature’, that time of youthfulness when the ‘new’ occurs daily, a time of pure experience, deeply felt, uplifting and thrilling in one instance disheartening and dispiriting the next, a time when one’s true self is revealed.

A time lost when only a few years later a ‘chain of events’ defines who one becomes: imposed responsibilities, social demands and the realization of a personal identity restrict imagination and limit possibilities. The infinite is made finite.

An existential loss unrealized until years later when, if fortunate, one is exposed to insightful youth who rekindle the fire, the magic of one’s ‘first nature’. A reason, I suppose, to interact with the young; a way to remember who one truly was.

Non-Representational Art

In the late 1940’s and early ’50’s artists painting in a non-representational manner had no language or means of conveying what they were doing. The intention was to create paintings of substance while eliminating pictorial space and figure/ground relationships. The problem being that not much could be said about what one was doing and what sort of meaning such work might have.

The result of these concerns was a move toward extreme minimalism, appreciation lying, I guess, in a Zen-like meditation on an essentially monochrome canvas. The artist Robert Irwin contemplated this orange painting for weeks moving one or the other horizontal lines up or down fractions of an inch.

Curious to consider how to interpret such a personal activity. No wonder, I suppose, why such concerns confound the viewing public and remain an esoteric interest at best.

Technological Dangers

I’ve been thinking lately about the technology I, like most everyone else, carry around with me in my pocket every day, wondering whether the use of this incredibly useful device might impose opioid-like addiction that some of us may not be able to control. As the small machine, through algorithmic manipulations learns who each of us is it selfishly feeds our needs and desires modifying our realities through sensationalized clickbait and presenting us with the news it knows we want. Demanding more and more of our time and attention the small device controls our ability to function on a daily basis: access to bank accounts, keeping appointments, staying in touch with others and performing necessary tasks depend on its benevolence.

The scifi notion of a controlling artificial intelligence may already be here residing in our pockets and purses.

Facing Our Ultimate Demise

Forgive me, if you will, for dwelling on the morbid but I can’t help thinking about the ultimate aftermath, what might be awaiting us after our final demise.

The fear most of us feel when such thoughts occur, I suspect, may be about facing the unfamiliar, leaving behind the faces, placers, environment, social connections that is one’s world. if we set aside the science of biological existence which seems reasonable from a spiritual perspective most any scenario is in play. Imagination would suggest intriguing possibilities for what might come next.